Soul Spending

It's been so long that I feel like a stranger here, really not even sure where to begin. I suppose that waking up on Thanksgiving Monday, the fierce fall wind howling outside and a mutual acceptance with the early baby that the day has now commenced is good motivation. It might also be the fact that I have been kindly reminded in several ways this past weekend that early morning grumbling (or at any time) will not set the tone well for the day, the week, and most certainly not for my soul. So while the wind is shaking up the world outside, stripping the trees bare and shifting the season, I want to work on shaking off the stresses that have been dragging me down. Trying to shift into a season of more gratefulness, less whining and taking moments for that soul thing that inspires hope.

 

I know that one of the best ways for me to do that is taking time to think about what I'm grateful for and to write it out. I haven't been doing that for a long time, not even in my own personal notes. Sometimes it feels like 'me' has fallen by the wayside in the last couple years. I'm pouring a lot of me into my hubby, children, home, away from home activities; as is what moms do. It seems though that the soul part of me has become the area that I'm too tired to deal with or only when there are a few minutes to spare. The excuse is that it's so hard to find a block of time without fifty interruptions that why bother at all. Months ago I heard Lysa Terkeurst quote this on a Focus on the Family podcast:

 

"A woman who lives with the stress of an overwhelmed schedule

will often ache with the sadness of an underwhelmed soul.''

She suggests to be very intentional about finding a few hours a week to spend time doing that thing that makes your soul shine; that gift that God has given us that allows us to pour out and bless others with it. I know people in my life who do that wholeheartedly through their gifts of making food, public speaking/teaching, lending a helping hand, photography...how they bless others and are filled themselves.

I wouldn't go as far as to say that I'm a writer or even a blogger due to a lack of consistency, maybe even a lack of confidence. But I am woman with a lot of pent up thoughts and ponderings that pour out through my hands. I've had loved ones urge me to begin blogging again to help deal with the moments of motherhood that are so overwhelming. I struggle with feeling guilty in taking this time for me because maybe I should be waiting until the children are grown up, or I shouldn't sit while house is in upheaval, or maybe it's just selfish ambition. Yet I found grace for those thoughts this morning when I happened upon Wayne's bible open with a devotional he's preparing with the title Using Time Wisely. Interesting how it relates exactly to what I've been feeling.  He shares the verse in Psalm 90:12 Teach us to number our days, that we may gain a heart of wisdom. He sums up his devotional with the fact that our days are predetermined, we ought to live each day with eternal perspective and purpose. Rather that just letting that soul desire keep slipping away because of excuses and not diligently carving out time; I want to share in the wisdom of God by sharing what He has given me.

 

It is God honoring being a steward of little ones, keeper of the home, repeating the mundane, everday things and also to carve out space to spend moments on the soul.

In those moments we find release and are ready to soar again and to new heights.

 

Do everything without grumbling or arguing, so that you may become blameless and pure, "children of God without fault in a warped and crooked generation." Then you will shine among them like stars in the sky as you hold firmly to the word of life. and them I will be able to boast on the day of Christ that I did not run or labor in vain. Philippians 2: 14 -17

 

 

Christina