Where Are You, Christmas?

Thats been the question of my life during the month of December. I have to admit that I've been keeping to myself, struggling to keep my hormonal emotions at bay, allowing the busyness of holiday preparations stress me out and having a bit of a pity party most days. These have led me to be a grumpy wife, an impatient mother, leaving out my devotions, tired, sore and sick of being pregnant. A long ways away from the Proverbs 31 woman! In the midst of this I wonder where is the joy of Christmas? Now I really don't write these words to find sympathy but to admit my feelings to myself and realize that I have that God does give me the strength to change the person I've been lately. I was having a particularly bad day last week and finally heeded to the call to sit down and listen to His word.The words on the pages I flipped to were in red and said to me:

'And he said unto me "My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness." Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me' 2Cor 12:9

Now my days and personality didn't miraculously change after this. I realized though that even in a bad day not everything is a waste, that God's grace can use my weaknesses to reveal his strength. I admit that I cant do it all on my own energy and that I do have limitations in my life right now; it is crucial for me to rely on His strength. Some days I feel so burdened by carrying a baby, like it just in the way. And then I'm humbled in the thought that resources of my body and soul are being used by God to knit together another life and that little one is growing stonger each day. I am feeling weak in pregnancy but God is preparing to reveal His strength in bringing forth a baby.

I imagine Mary must have gained much strength from the Lord to travel on a donkey at the end of pregnancy and to face the fear of giving birth not only the for the first time but also in an unknown place. Thinking of her makes my situation seem so trivial.

So have I found Christmas? Its certainly not in the gifts, food and preparations. Although I usually find pleasure in those things, I just don't have the energy for the full extent of it all. Finding Christmas is starting each day anew, praying for strength, energy, patience and faith for the day and resting in CHRISTmas! That beyond the materialism and busyness, Christmas is always there and unchanging, inviting us to share in the miracle and celebration of a baby; God's perfect strength and glory in a weak, helpless baby.

Below are photos of some of our December moments!

Praying that we all find peace and joy in the coming of Christmas,

Christina