just in love with this little man
It may seem strange to see a picture of buns but to me they represent me really getting back into the swing of things in my house. A few weeks back i finally felt energetic enough to tackle homemade buns which I hadn't done since quite some time before Christmas. I love working with the dough and silly as it may sound, my stresses just ease away as I'm kneading and rolling. The pay off is so good at the end when the smell of freshly baked buns fill the house. Hanna and I usually get out the jam or peanut butter and have a little feast. I haven't shared this with many but someday I would like to bake buns, bread and other baked goods as a business. I enjoy doing farmer's market but it's hard to manage that with raising children. Maybe when the time is right and an opportunity presents itself, something will become of my thoughts.
We started a new book in our Ladies Bible Study group called 'Calm My Anxious Heart'. It's essentially about contentment in life and speaks very loudly to me. I've been living with much anxiousness in my life, so many what ifs and worries about things that don't even need to be worried about. To be anxious about nothing and turn everything into prayer seems so foreign to me. It's certainly going to be a learning process and a test of faith to be content in all circumstances. I'm so thankful for the voices in my ladies group. I soak up their wisdom like a sponge. I admit I don't contribute much vocally as I seem to clam up in a crowd but I come home feeling like I've learned so much I never knew before. Often I'm guilt ridden, repentant for my actions and feeling like I'm constantly stumbling. I'm always recharged though to pick up and try again though, and to strive for a life of complete content is something worth discovering. Theres a prescription for contentment I want to quote from the book:
*never allow yourself to complain about anything-not even the weather
*never picture yourself in any other circumstances or someplace else
*never compare your lot with another's
*never allow yourself to wish this or that had been otherwise
*never dwell on tomorrow- remember the tomorrow is God's, not others
Guilty of all those! doesn't that sound so different from the world's view of contentment where we are encouraged to be self seeking, self gratifying and keeping up with the joneses. I really like this quote "Contentment is essentially a matter of accepting from God's hand what he sends because we know that he is good and therefore it is good." That's hard when sometimes situations in life seems so unfair and hurtful. Sometimes motherhood seems so overwhelming and more that I can handle; moments of discontent certainly creep in. I'm learning that it starts with accepting that we have a portion in life. It's already been given and is meant for our good. It may not always seem pleasant and there may be many burdens but we have the strength to handle them. Contentment is feeling peace despite the pain.It's giving up control. Worrying is acutally a control mechanism. How can I give God control when I'm fretting. Hmmm...so much for me to think about and practice these days. In my book I highlighted this verse
"I accept my portion. Infuse me with Your strength that I may drink"(Luke 22:42)
And right now I'm finally content that I had a chance to sit down and share the things on my mind.
May peace surround you,