Baby Days

I can't believe it's already been three and a half weeks of sleepless nights and busy days of nursing, changing, wiping, rocking and much cuddling with little Jake. He's changing quickly already with his body filling out and his face so becoming so bright and alert. He's been a very content baby although demanding quite frequent feedings that are so exhausting in the middle of the night. Some days my mind feel a little less foggy with fatigue such as today and then I actually find energy for a quick post on the blog. Hopefully soon I can become more regular again with blogging. Until then it feels as though time is very measured in this household and time for me is put on hold for a bit. I forgot how demanding those first weeks are and especially a whole new scenario with a toddler in the mix. Hanna has been really good with Jake and showers him with hugs and kisses. Many days have been frustrating though as she continually tests me, especially when I'm busy with nursing. She's definitely feeling my lack of attention on her and seems to vent those feelings by doing all the things she's not supposed to be doing. She's seems to be becoming daddy's girl now, which is good after all those months of him being away on the semi. I'm so thankful for dolls too because they occupy much of her time. It also helps her to stay connected with me by both of us being mommies together. Not to mention that she imitates everything I do and say with Jake!

well, it's back to baby duties for me....

Christina

A Time to be Born

"Before I formed you in the womb.... I knew you." Jeremiah 1:5

On January 5, 2011, baby Jake Cornelius Doerksen

was welcomed into our arms at last.

At 7 lbs 12 oz and 20.5 inches long I could only marvel that this little being was really formed inside of me.

We spent about 20 hours at the hospital waiting for my labour to progress. I walked the halls most of the day taking breaks in between when my hips and back felt like they could go no further. My doctor sent us out for supper, and so we decided to head back to my mom's for supper and see Hanna for a bit. After two hours it was definitely time to go back to the hospital. The doctor broke my water at midnight and four hours later Jake came screaming into the bright new world. We had a feeling it would be a boy, but it was still such an exhilarating surprise to really see a little baby boy. He surely would be our little Jake.

We decided on the name Jake in remembrance of Wayne's Grandpa Jake who passed on almost three years ago. Just a few weeks ago I felt that Cornelius would be an appropriate middle name, in honor of my dad. My heart aches when I think about the fact that our children will never know their Grandpa Friesen, and so baby Jake will carry on that little piece of "Cornie". I already figure that my nickname for Jake will be the name Cornie in german form. (Kind of 'corny', eh?)

When Hanna first came into the hospital room, she take on look at me and Jake and says "It's baby Jesus!" After just having had Christmas and Hanna really catching on to the Christmas Story she's been all about her dolls and babies being "baby Jesus" She's been hooked on this bedtime story called the Christmas Donkey, with the story of Jesus from the donkeys view. So in the hospital room after exclaiming that Jake was Jesus she says "Where's the Christmas Donkey?" Well, with much laughter we had to explain that no, Jake wasn't baby Jesus, instead Jesus being his Daddy in Heaven. And, no, mommy is not in a barn with animals and a manger. It took a few days for her to sort the names out but now has it down pat that Jake is her brother and Jesus is in heaven.:) She repeatedly tells me that 'Jake was born' and that mommy's 'big one tummy is gone' She's taken to him really well, and showers him with kisses and hugs. Her adrenaline was running really strong the first few days and now we're trying to get back into routine with miss Hanna. And while I was gone, it seems like she gained weight and grew two inches!

All the people who told me the second time would be easier were right! I feel so much more relaxed and confident with a newborn. Physically, my recovery is much easier to handle and I feel really good. Nursing is well on its way and right now we're in a feeding every 2 to 2.5 hour schedule. Jake has been so content so long as all the burps are out of the way and his tummy is full. I haven't even cried yet which I pretty much did the whole first week when Hanna was born. This time it's not so overwhelming giving up my freedom because of already having a two year old dependant on me. I'm more confident about my place in life as a mother and so in some ways I feel as though I can enjoy this baby more thoroughly.

We've had much help from family and friends with food and keeping up with the small stuff in the house. I'm so grateful for that and for the gifts and hand me downs that I've received. I thought dressing a boy wouldn't be nearly as much fun as a girl but I think I was wrong.

So, for now we are snug in our home just revolving our lives around our two blessings. It feels like a great start to the new year and a good way to get through the winter!

Christina

A Time for Everything

A Good Morning on this last morning of the year 2010! I finally had a pretty good night's sleep, with only being awake for one hour during the night rather than the usual two. I feel compelled today to make the most of this year's last day.

This week my mind has been really reflective of the timing of events, the purposes of situations and the unfolding of events that have occured in this last year. I sit here with tea in hand and turned to King Solomon's observations of life in Ecclesiastes 3. The general observation being that there is a right time to everthing. Verses 1-8 are about the time for different experiences and God's timing is perfect. The key to peace with God is to accept and trust His timing. That's so much easier to write down though than to put into action I find.

A Time to be born. Over the Christmas holidays I've marveled at God's perfect timing in sending Jesus in the form of a baby; to be born in only a manger, a most humble birth. God knew that our hearts would soften and rejoice with a babe so much more than if he'd sent Jesus as a powerful warrior or a rich King. I marvel at the process of pregnancy, how each stage is timed to give form and life to a baby. Although I have to admit it feeling a bit impatient for His timing in bringing this baby forth. I'm thankful that we will be welcoming a baby into our home in the beginning of the new year. I'm filled with a sense of renewed purpose and hope to start the year off right.

A Time to Die. A Time to Mourn. As I'm filled with joy over hearing of new births to come in the near future my heart also aches for those who are now dealing with death. Friends of ours from the community will be laying a daughter to rest in a couple of days. God chose this time to take her home, and no matter how expected or prepared they may have been for it, I can still imagine the deep sense of loss and heartche that would come with losing one's child. We may think there is an injustice in beginning a new year in mourning; in dealing with death. The bible says though Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted.Matt5. It's difficult to imagine being blessed through the time of mourning. I've found though in my own time of grief that when we suffer in the Lord's presence He reveals so much more of His love and mercy. We can learn to savor his love so much deeper through suffering and grief than when life is always happy and joyful.
There are so many people in our community, church, and family members who are dealing with diseases; an uncertainty surrounds us in not knowing how long these loved ones will remain. Today my deepest prayer is that God will bless His people that are caught in suffering with comfort, hope and endurance for the process.

"The tears...

streamed down, and

I let them flow as freely as they would,

making of them a pillow for my heart.

On them it rested."

-St. Augustine

I wish you all a happy New Year. May you find purpose in all arising situations. Remember that God's timing is always perfect even beyond our understanding. May your year be filled with times of birth, to plant, to build up, to laugh, to dance, to embrace, and especially always finding the time to love. When God calls you to hard times, take time and call for Him.

love and prayers,

Christina

Where Are You, Christmas?

Thats been the question of my life during the month of December. I have to admit that I've been keeping to myself, struggling to keep my hormonal emotions at bay, allowing the busyness of holiday preparations stress me out and having a bit of a pity party most days. These have led me to be a grumpy wife, an impatient mother, leaving out my devotions, tired, sore and sick of being pregnant. A long ways away from the Proverbs 31 woman! In the midst of this I wonder where is the joy of Christmas? Now I really don't write these words to find sympathy but to admit my feelings to myself and realize that I have that God does give me the strength to change the person I've been lately. I was having a particularly bad day last week and finally heeded to the call to sit down and listen to His word.The words on the pages I flipped to were in red and said to me:

'And he said unto me "My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness." Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me' 2Cor 12:9

Now my days and personality didn't miraculously change after this. I realized though that even in a bad day not everything is a waste, that God's grace can use my weaknesses to reveal his strength. I admit that I cant do it all on my own energy and that I do have limitations in my life right now; it is crucial for me to rely on His strength. Some days I feel so burdened by carrying a baby, like it just in the way. And then I'm humbled in the thought that resources of my body and soul are being used by God to knit together another life and that little one is growing stonger each day. I am feeling weak in pregnancy but God is preparing to reveal His strength in bringing forth a baby.

I imagine Mary must have gained much strength from the Lord to travel on a donkey at the end of pregnancy and to face the fear of giving birth not only the for the first time but also in an unknown place. Thinking of her makes my situation seem so trivial.

So have I found Christmas? Its certainly not in the gifts, food and preparations. Although I usually find pleasure in those things, I just don't have the energy for the full extent of it all. Finding Christmas is starting each day anew, praying for strength, energy, patience and faith for the day and resting in CHRISTmas! That beyond the materialism and busyness, Christmas is always there and unchanging, inviting us to share in the miracle and celebration of a baby; God's perfect strength and glory in a weak, helpless baby.

Below are photos of some of our December moments!

Praying that we all find peace and joy in the coming of Christmas,

Christina

Winter Happenings

Hi there!

Well, I think we've been well reminded what winter is all about after several flurries already. I can't believe how much snow is on our yard in so short a time. Hanna decided one morning that she couldn't possibly wait to put pants on before going to see the snow. She was out the door with only boots and a parka but realized quickly that with winter comes COLD!

I've got a bit of a love/hate relationship with winter. I've been dreading all the bundling up to go outside, my car barely making it off the roadslippery steps and sidewalks and not always that confident with winter roads. Wayne had a great idea though by parking our car in his little shop and keeping the woodstove going. Can't believe we've only thought of that after three years of living here. That will make things so much easier when packing two children into the car. So on the love side of winter, the gently falling snow just makes the world seem at peace, clean and of course invokes the Christmas Spirit. In winter I feel extra thankful to have a warm home and life just feels a little less rushed. The snow was beautiful yesterday and the temperature down so it was a great afternoon to spend some time outdoors.

Our first dozen of eggs! Hanna and I have been thrilled to find little brown and blue eggs nestled in the straw. Although now I realize that I need to keep a better routine of chicken chores. Now that its so cold they are eating and drinking more. It's best if I check them in the morning because they've been laying in the corner of the house where the cold air is freezing the eggs by afternoon. So we've put in a stronger heat bulb, and I've got a bag of wood shaving to spread around so hopefully the chickens will feel a little warmer.

Yesterday I finally felt up to doing some baking. I think I had a flu bug in the beginning of the week and tried to avoid making food as much as I could. Wayne's has pneumonia and Hanna has an ear infection. We're all doing much better but it's so hard to want to cook when we're all feeling under the weather. I've had this craving for cream cookies with candy canes on top. I came across a recipe that turned out really good and will share it with you too:
Cream Cookies
1 cup sugar
2 eggs, beaten
1/2 c margarine/butter
1/2 c cream
2 tsp baking powder
1 tsp baking soda
1 tsp vanilla
1/2 tsp salt
flour to make soft dough, I used about 2 and 3/4 c

cream sugar, eggs and butter; mix in dry ingred alternately with cream
I dropped mine by spoon to save time rolling out dough and baked at 350 for 8 min
frost with buttercream icing and sprinkle with crushed candy canes. Next time I think I'll add peppermint extract to the icing rather than vanilla.


I'm excited to announce that this is the clean and less cluttered version of my dining room. We recently painted the whole main floor of the house. Its now a grey with beige (greige) in it all the same thorughout the rooms. Do you want to know the color of this room before? Well it was a very minty green that I loved at first but am so glad to be rid of now. Homemaking must be a journey because some of my tastes have sure changed. When we first moved in and with the thrill of my first own home I wanted every color in the rainbow. I think I almost accomplished that and now I realize how busy my house looked. So now that I'm in a neutral frame of mind( a little less eccentric) the house actually feels warmer and like everything flow better. Most of all, Wayne is happy I've come around to a new way of thinking about decorating. Mom gave us the little desk to fit in the closet and it's so nice to have a space for the laptop. For four years it just sat around by the couches or on the table with cords always in the way. So now I have a little corner to sit and blog without having to clean up the computer to make room for other things. Anyway, this may all seem a little materialistic but for me a change in surroundings is just what I need to boost my vim for keeping this house in order.

Today we leave for Grand Forks for a little getaway with my family. I'm really looking forward to shopping and relaxing in the hotel. However the roads and weather are not looking very good. I don't think it'll stop Wayne from travelling so please pray for safe driving for all those out on the road. If we end up in the ditch I suppose I can console myself with a container of cream cookies for a little while at least :)

Have a great weekend!

Christina

What A Small World!

Good Morning! Looking out the window makes me want to stay snug in my house with the furnace on. It looks so cold and as is if the snow will be beginning very soon. However, as I shiver at the thought of winter, I have a story to share that really warms my heart.

This moment of realizing what a small world it is took place during our trip on the semi through Pennsylvania. I'm going to backtrack a bit because really this story starts at home. First of all, a little bit about me. I've always been a person who sticks to what I know and a not to eager to venture beyond what feels comfortable especially not into that big bad world out there. Well I think some of that has changed and I'll give some credit to the technology of the Internet. I discovered the world of blogs about a year ago and ,well, one blog just takes you to another. I've found so many blogs of women out in the world who I can relate to and share similar interests with. These 'strangers' somehow don't seem so strange or far away as you read about their daily lives. One of the first blogs that really spoke to me was that of 'The Country Blossom'. You can find her link at the side of my blog page. I love her warm, inspiring way that she writes about her daily life and her desire to share her faith. I've been following for several months but still it seemed so strange for me to leave comments on her blog as 'I don't even know her.' Recently though, as I got up the bravado to start my own blog page I began to comment on the blogs that I follow. I feel comfortable now sharing with these women out there in Internet world because I guess the world just seems smaller when you can access it from the screen of a computer. (Now I feel like all my old fashioned-ness is going out the door :) )

So now to the heart of the story. We're driving through Pennsylvania down a main highway. I think it was a ways past Lancaster. I'd like to give exact locations but Wayne has the atlas on the semi and my memory is failing a little. I remember thinking about my blogger friend, two of which live in Pennsylvania, but I don't know any exact locations. It felt neat that beyond the Internet, now I was actually in their state although I would still never actually see them. Well we came to an accident scene and had to take a detour. Before coming to the accident we were meaning to get onto highway route 322 and thankfully the detour was going to take us straight to that highway. So traffic was really slow, and it felt as though we were creeping along for a very long time. Wayne and I were both a little stressed because we weren't sure that we were on the right road and thought that we might miss our turn because of the hold up. So we drive into a small town where there were several men directing traffic at different turns. We stopped where the first man was and rolled the window down to ask him if this turn would keep us on the highway 322 and he confirmed it was the right way. I noticed that he had red hair and looked so familiar. It dawned on me as I rolled up the window that he looked like the husband of Katy at 'The Country Blossom' I didn't say anything to Wayne for a while as I pondered how very unlikely a chance meeting like that would be. My mind was thinking it couldn't be possible but inside I was feeling like this really had happened and that God had put her husband in our path. Eventually I told Wayne, thinking he would think I'm crazy, but he said for some reason this man had struck his attention to although Wayne has never had any contact with the blog I read. We were chuckling thinking how neat that would be if really was true. So I decided that when we got home I would contact Katy and find out if she could confirm. I just had to know and really wanted it be true.

So the day before yesterday I received a very pleasing reply from Katy. Sure enough, it was her husband that we had met and spoken very briefly with. I'm smiling as I write as it's just so heartwarming for me. My headed keeps repeating ' how unlikely in all of Pennsylvania and trust me, it's far more populated than Manitoba, that we should come into contact with my Internet friend. That was certainly not luck or a freak coincidence. I'm so sure of God's hand in this moment and how He's connected the dots. I'm humbled as I realize that the world is not just a big, bad place but that the Lord has all things working together and that the ties of faith connect us far beyond our reach.

So now I'm back home, back to reading Katy's blog knowing that in this lifetime I may never come into contact with her again beyond the Internet, but then again who knows what the Lord has in store. It really is a small world after all!!

Lovingly,

Christina

Seven Days on the Road

I'm back to blogging!

What a week its been, a far cry from the norm for me. Hanna and I spent a whole week with Wayne on the semi; driving through much of eastern USA. Last Friday evening Wayne called home saying that he really wanted us to be with him when he took this trip to Delaware, leaving Sunday morning. I have to admit that even though I agreed to going a big part of me was fighting the prospect. I'm finding that I'm a bit of a homebody, it feels safe, secure and it's what I know. So much for being adventurous. Also, the idea of being seven months pregnant with a two year old seemed very daunting. What really pulled me along was the desire to finally be with Wayne for a whole week and I realized that he's been really struggling with being alone away from us.

We got ready in a hurry on Saturday and were ready to leave the next morning. By that time my excitement had built and it felt great to climb in and head out!

Wayne's trip included taking a load of woodstoves to Delaware with four other drops along the way. I think in total we drove through nine states. A little ways into Wisconsin, the scenery began that I'd really been looking forward to. Farmyards dotted the country with two storey farmhouses and big, old barns. The trees began to look different and so tall. There were so many farmyards that I just wanted to pick up and take them home with me. I really got a sense that the Americans are big on preserving their heritage, there was such an old fashioned feel to the rural areas. The small towns are so unlike ours; homes with front porches line the streets, so many of the stores looked to be in original buildings, the sights of the town just feeling so homey! These sights continued all the way to Delaware, I can honestly say I didn't get bored of looking out the window. The weather got warmer, the trees so many vibrant colors, and definitley the land becoming very populated. By the time we reached Pennsylvania and Maryland I realized how wide open and spacious our land really is. I think there was hardly every a square mile that didn't have yards close together. I noticed that farmyards are really compact with all the buildings near each other. The distance between towns seemed so short, but the landscape was breathtaking and the yards so well groomed. I've come home with many ideas of what I'd like the outside of our house to look like someday! We didn't realize that all our drops were mostly to farmyards and not commercial places, so we really were able to take in the rural country although I'm sure Wayne would rather have been in a smaller vehicle than in a semi with all the twists and turns we took. Of course if we'd been in a small vehicle he would've had to stop many times for pictures and at all the stores and neat places that I wish we could've stopped at.

Hanna did so well on this trip. We brought along many toys and books and she spent much time playing with those. I was thankful for the bunk in the back so that we could move about. Surprisingly, she spent much of the trip on my lap, content to see the sights and now knows all about bridges, water, towers, hills, tunnels and was always talking about seeing big bucks in the bush! We had our laptop with so she could watch some videos and she did a little bit each day but nearly as much as I thought she would want to. Most evenings when it was dark she would ask to go home as boredom started setting in. She was always excited to get out of the semi and walk but never put up a complaint about getting in. Our sleeping patterns were thrown for a loop with having just left on time change weekend at home and then three states later entering another time zone. Even though some nights I felt like a squished sardine we still had a decent amount of rest. The truck stops weren't nearly as bad as I thought, the bathrooms and showers were always clean and I guess I have to admit that you can still find healthy food on the road. We definitely had more junk food than usual but still ate a good amount of normal food. Me being the Chip Queen, bought only one bag of chips. That's recordbreaking!

The picture above is of the five mile bridge we crossed from Maryland to Delaware. It was spectacular to see but I was relieved once we had crossed it. I don't have the best pics to show of our trip as everthing was snapped from the truck and just didn't turn out very clear. The picture below was our final destination in Delaware. We pulled up to a long lane and sign had the name Miller on it. I excitedly said " Wayne! Miller is an Amish name, I think we're unloaded at an Amish yard" Sure enough the closer we got we saw a woman in a long dress and white cap, Amish clothing on the laundry line and a buggy came into view. There were two yards down one lane and they were just beautiful places with big homes and barns. We got out of the semi and the first thing I noticed was the stillness. We'd just driven out of busy roads and towns into total peace and quiet. The yards were surrounded by a few acres of tilled land and then surrounded completely by bush with tall, colorful trees. I was so thrilled that this had been our destination and to have a chance to enjoy the simplicity of it all.

Finally time to head back home. Our route now would take us north though Delaware and into Pennsylvania to pick up our load to take back to Canada. Now that I was into Amish sightseeing this would be the state to go to. I was telling Wayne about the Author Beverly Lewis and how her novels are based on the Lancaster Area. Well to my delight we drove right through this very area, a place I'd always wanted to see. I definitely want to come back to this area again someday. The picture below was just before Lancaster where we saw Amish men baling with a horse pulled baler. Then in town Wayne stopped the semi so that two amish men could make a turn in front of us and they waved cheerfully to us. I'm sounding like such a tourist and like I've never seen Amish in my life. Being a mennonite it shouldn't be such a novelty but nonetheless I was still thrilled. Pennsylvania was both very exciting to drive through and very stressful at the same time. We had some complications with the load to work out, bypassed an accident for quite a distance and I have to say we were relieved to get out of the hills and and back to flatter ground. At this point Wayne was frequently reminding me how thankful he was to have us with him because there were times where it seemed that our trip would take a turn for the worse and that we would be very delayed in making it home. On Thursday I was praying that everything would work out on the road home, that the scales and rules of the road wouldn't keep us from home for too long.

Friday we made it to Ohio and we were feeling so much closer to home. The land was starting to look more like the prairies and that feeling of having space was coming back to us. We were feeling the anticipation of home being nearer. That night we slept in Minnesota, and it probably my best sleep and the nicest truck stop to be at. The next morning we'd have eight hours to go and then HOME SWEET HOME! Crossing the border felt so good. As much as I love the sights of small town and rural America home is still the best place to be even if the scenery isn't as great. I do have new appreciation though for the wide open spaces of the prairies, it feels like home.

I'm so thankful I went on this trip with Wayne. It was worth the aches in my hips and back, the sleeplessness and (holding it in for long periods at a time). I just really appreciated being able to talk endlessly with him, laughing about silly things, dreaming about the future and just sitting quietly next to each other, knowing that home is really wherever the three(and a half) of us are together.

Christina